Barstool’s USWNT Preview & Prediction: Pain For Spain

Sam’s Soccer Safe Space for Stoolies

Hi haters,

There have been roughly zero huge upsets so far this WWC, which any good gambler worth his/her salt knows means that we are DUE for one of the Big Ladies to fall hard now that we have hit the knockouts where things get serious.

Will it be today? Welp, let’s take a look….

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WWC R16

Quick reminder of how the bracket has shaken out so far.

Like my super model girlfriend who lives in Canada the bracket is extremely top-heavy, with tourney favorites US and France along with England and Norway all fighting just to make the finals. On the other side it is basically just Germany unless they lay a big fat egg some game in which case they could possssssssibly face a little bit of a fight from either the Netherlands or Canada.

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USWNT vs Spain

The lineups for both teams are out and this is what we are looking at:

Good to see Julie Ertz back in the XI after sitting out – probably more for precautionary reasons – against Sweden last week…. but NOT good to see my girl Lindsey Horan dropped from squad in favor of Sam Mewis. Nothing against Mewis who has had a pretty damn good tournament so far but Horan is a better overall player. That said, I do understand Jill Ellis’ thinking on this since Horan is carrying a yellow card, meaning that if she picked up another today (and the US wins – ha!) she would be suspended for the France game because of one of the stupidest rules in soccer.

All in all though a strong XI, and one that is plenty good to dispatch Spain without too much trouble.

“But wait,” say the haters, “didn’t the USWNT just play Spain and barely beat them?”

Yes, dear little haters, this is in fact true. But what these dummies fail to realize is that that was a meaningless friendly. This is the World Cup. Big players step up big on the big stage.

So what can we expect from Spain?

Fair play to the Spanish, they are no pushover and have been getting a LOT better – and doing so at a rapid pace. They are actually a little bit of a chip off the old block in terms of how the Spanish mean play with a possession-based, dink-dink-dink short passing style. What they do not have a is much firepower, so barring a big time mistake at the back (something I must admit Crystal Dunn has been a little prone to the last few games), they should not trouble the American backline too much.

So what can we expect from the USWNT?

Like every opponent faced so far we are bigger, badder, faster, stronger and better. Importantly, the Spanish defense is not fast enough to keep up with our queen:

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PREDICTION

USA to win 2-0.

COMING FOR THAT ASS, FROGGIES.

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Lotttttttttta soccer still coming with Gold Cup, Copa America and African Cup of Nations all being played in parallel, plus the U21 Euros for the true soccer hipsters in our midst, and finally (at long last) the second instalment of the FA Cup trip/video will finally drop later today or tomorrow morning. Hooray!


Holler,
Samuel Army

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